waiting for magic...

After my interview a few weeks ago, an interesting thing happened. Some of my feelings of inadequacy disappeared (I mean, I did have an interview after all) and I started waking up at normal times (you know 8:30 as opposed to 5:30). It seemed that my internal clock was ready to take a break from the stress.

Unfortunately, I haven’t been applying to too many jobs since the interview. Why not, might you ask? Procrastination is a tactic of avoidance (most of the time). I have been so frustrated that I decided to just not think about my lack of job. If I didn’t focus on it, it couldn’t stress me out. Besides, I’d had one interview; another was bound to come along. HA!

So for the past few weeks I’ve been obsessively reading Harry Potter (in preparation for book 7, which comes out on the 21st) and I think that it’s safe to say (just as has happened to me in other instances where I turn to an obsession to avoid thinking about something unpleasant), I’ve lost a bit of my touch with reality. I haven’t been answering my emails. I have been avoiding my friends. I have been staying at home like recluse (granted that this can partially be attributed to my very depressed bank account and the realization that it is indeed quite expensive to drive to Boulder and go out), and reading Harry Potter.

Now I am consumed with Harry Potter mania, and yes, if you have occasion to ask, I’ve seen the fifth movie and I LOVED it. Let me just tell you that this is not the response I usually have to the Harry Potter movies, but this one was so wonderful. Why you ask? Because it was able to translate the main ideas and themes without leaving anything too important by the wayside. This has been a struggle for past movies (Prisoner of Azkaban especially). Order of the Phoenix does leave many things out (how could it not from a 870 page book) but the ideas and the personalities of the characters seem fairly faithful.

Rhonda’s coming to visit this weekend and I’m very excited to see her. A part of me wonders how I’m going to balance my obsessive HP insanity with a weekend of Colorado fun, but I’m sure it will work out alright in the end. I’m planning on taking her to the Renaissance Festival on Saturday and there is definitely going to be a little hiking trip somewhere in there. Fellow Coloradans…any suggestions about what essentials a trip here might contain?

And just incase you’re worried about me (you know, with my whole out of touch with reality thing), not to worry. The past two days have seen my applying to a slew of new jobs, more Harry Potter reading, and rejoice! My insomnia is back! This morning I woke up at 3:30 and could not get back to sleep. Still, my life feels a little better. My room has been a cave of filth and negativity but yesterday it became happy again (cleaned, vacuumed, graced with new sheets). And I’m even contemplating answering my email. So if I haven’t written you back, fear not, I’m alive and trying to overcome my bum instincts and a rather nasty cold…perhaps it’s all for the best that I didn’t go out this weekend.

Posted by Dana on Sunday, July 15, 2007 at 3:46 PM | Permalink