waiting for magic...

I was going to write about how much I love the fall. The colors are very pretty. There’s a nice chill in the air. But instead I just feel anxious. I can understand why this season makes me anxious. I have a lot of unfortunate feelings associated with fall like school starting. But really, it isn’t the season that’s making me feel this way. It’s really unfortunate that I give fall such a bad rap. But I do.

I’m starting to feel overwhelmed with school. There is suddenly so much uncertainty. I have one student alone that’s giving me an ulcer. I’m probably being too nice to her, but I don’t want to be mean. I know it isn’t my job to be nice, but I also believe in giving people chances. I think she’s just taking my chances and running away with them. There they go. Bye bye chances.

And then there is Rob. Most of you know by now that Rob is moving. To Des Moines. In 10 days. I knew he would move to DM eventually, but it’s all happening very quickly. I think most people are happy for him. It’s good for him; he shouldn’t have to live so far away from work. He’ll be closer to his family and a lot of his friends. He gets his own washer and dryer. For me, Rob moving is like Christmas. I don’t mean that I’m looking forward to it. It’s just that during the Christmas season, I know Christmas is coming. However, that knowledge that it is coming doesn’t mean that it has actually hit me. It’s the same way with this move. I know it’s happening, but I’m having a hard time processing the idea. This has all happened in a span of less than a month. I’d like to think as far as Rob and I are concerned, it really isn’t that big of a deal. I’ll get to see him every weekend (at least for the parts where I’m not doing homework). I’ll get to see him on Tuesdays and Thursdays because I’ll be in DM anyway. But what if it’s a Monday and I’m having a panic attack and he doesn’t live 4 minutes away anymore and he can’t come over and calm me down and be all great and wonderful and supportive? The thing I’m most afraid of, though, is this: right now Rob and I have very different lives, but they still intersect. A little. And when he moves…well, we’ll see. I didn’t really want to blog about this for the longest time. I told myself I’m blog about it when it seemed real, and when I though it was going to happen. It doesn’t really seem real, but when is it going to? On October 7th when I’m moving boxes into his new house? I know people go through relationships where they don’t get to see each other that often (weeks or even months go by for some). I don’t really have a point anymore, I’m just tired of talking about it.

Posted by Dana at 9:37 PM | Permalink | Comments

As I was looking through my photos, I noticed I had more of Rob pouting than anyone else combined

Steph heard about a previous "angry" picture and didn't want to be left out

I think he's making fun of me...

Scott loves to have his picture taken!

Where do I keep finding these?

I don't know who's tougher...Joanna or Anthony

...

Justin is outraged that we asked him if he wanted a drink

Somehow these pictures make me laugh. Why is that?

Kate think's she looks pretty cool in my glasses

I was wrong. It looks like I came out about even in "Rob is not smiling" pictures.

Oh, look, I fell over

Posted by Dana at 5:01 PM | Permalink | Comments

Today it is cold outside. I don’t mean cold as in my-oh-my it’s freezing out and I’m pretty sure if I stay outside longer than five minutes I’ll get frostbite. I mean that it is the first cold day after the end of summer. That day that signals the end of warm humid days. Suddenly you notice that there are leaves on the ground and you’re futilely wishing you’d though to bring your coat, or at least to have worn shoes instead of flip-flops (read: Kate).

Current Temperature: 50 degrees and cloudy
Current Mood: procrastinatory

Last night in my grant writing class I learned that not everyone counts “procrastination” among their constant or even occasional habits. Somehow this loss of procrastinators in the world saddened me a little. I though surely that procrastination was something I could bond about with most people. News Flash: Dana isn’t always right (but don’t tell Rob). I think everyone needs a little, but I fear today is calling to be the mother of all procrastination days: stay in bed with a book, snuggled up under the covers, smiling at your lamp as it brings warm light to a room grayed by the clouds outside.

Recent photographic evidence (of me) has pointed a new and distinct pose in picture taking these days. Why smile when you can frown (or scowl or just in general defy the camera-taking principles of happiness)? Who really knows where those feelings come from? Maybe it’s that I’m still doing quite a bit of homework on the weekends (which I really hate and try try try to avoid), even though I still get up at 6 everyday and go go go until 8 or 9 at night. Sometimes one must procrastinate! I have a new technique even. I’m always looking for viable ways to procrastinate homework/paper grading and I have a new one. Judge for yourself.

Over the summer I had the misfortune to lose my glasses (read: I got drunk and to keep from losing them I put them in my purse; they of course managed to leap out sometime in the night. Well, come on, these things happen). I don’t have especially bad vision; I can legally drive without glasses, so I just didn’t bother to go back to the eye doctor right away. They really just help correct my astigmatism, which does lead to eye-strain headaches (read: the doctor says my eyes are football shaped and that focusing quickly isn’t my strong suit). So, naturally, school started up again and I started focusing a lot more and, well, headaches. Before my eye exam (yet another reason I didn’t want to get new glasses; they put weird drops in your eye!) I filled out the ever-popular paper work, and decided it was time to check the box next to: interested in contact lenses. My eyes appeared to be within the magical range of eyes that can wear contacts, so with only one set of drops (if the eye doctor ever gives you drops that he claims will make your eyes a little sticky, just go with it. You don’t really want to know what they’re for), I was told to come back when I had time for a “contact fitting” (read: people don’t like to touch their eye, so teaching them how to stab their corneas with a small piece of plastic takes a little time and getting used to). So last Saturday I went in for my fitting. I got in at about 9:20; at 10:20 I’d finally managed to get both contacts in my eyes (I know a lot of it was in my head because as soon as I got one it, it took very little time to get the other in. Plus, I’m in my head a lot). After adjusting to them a little, Michelle (my very nice contact insertion instructor) thought maybe I should try taking one out. That didn’t go too well. I had to leave the optometrist, go watch the first half of the Iowa/Iowa State game (read: the good half), and then trek back to the optometrist. Michelle thought it would be good for my eyes to get a break (I hear jabbing yourself in the eye hurts if you do it long enough). I think it took me about another hour before I managed this technique of removing the contact.

The best part? It took me forever and I didn’t do any homework! Go me. Sunday rolled around and I think I managed to get them in about 20 minutes. Rob had to talk me down off of the ledge, but I finally listened to reason. Again, plenty of time that wasn’t spent doing homework. Yesterday I gave my eyes a rest (read: my left eye was smarting a little from the abuse it received on Sunday). Today I barely made it out of bed in time to catch the bus for sunrise yoga. So before I go to work tonight, I have myself a nice little afternoon planned: 2 hours to shower, put in my contacts, and reward myself for putting in my contacts. What a way to procrastinate.

Posted by Dana at 10:54 AM | Permalink | Comments

It’s inevitable that when you have a roommate, she will discover your SSB (Secret Single Behavior). Honestly, it’s hard to keep it a secret for long, and who really wants to go through all that work. Occasionally, however, there comes a time when you really feel as though no one is watching you. You morph into the single creature, not worried about judgment or harassment. Today Kate came home to find me laying on the couch, watching Star Trek (read: Science Fiction dork), and eating pepper jack cheese (I might add that I was munching on the actual block of cheese itself. No knife necessary. The cheese block still bears my teeth marks). This got me to thinking about other things I do when I think no one is watching (and Kate doesn’t really count because I’m too comfortable around her to feel embarrassed about much anymore).

Dana’s SSB
1. I shave my legs on Friday (but just on Friday)
2. I consider pickles and cheese dinner
3. I plan my homework around times when CSI (or Project Runway or Grey’s Anatomy or anything else that sounds like a good show to plan homework around) is on
4. I “code” my closet: a) when at all possible, clothes are hung on hangers of the same color; b) my skirts are hung two to a hanger and each skirt has another skirt that it should be hanging with; c) I have two laundry baskets in my closet: one for dirty clothes and one for clothes that have been worn but have re-wearing potential (jeans especially).
5. I get up at 6 a.m. even though I don’t have class until 9:30 (I like to take walks, go to yoga, or clean in the morning…movement wakes me up)
6. This one is a little gross: I clip dead skin off of my feet with toe nail clippers
7. Hmmm, well, that’s all I can think of now…

However, I invite you, dear readers, to comment with your own SSB (read: totally at your most comfortable behaviour)!

Posted by Dana at 4:10 PM | Permalink | Comments