The Places We Have Come to Fear the Most
Nothing new to report, I’ve been lax in my blogging. I’m sure I’ll regale you all with tales of my trip to Colorado some time (or at least post some pictures), but now is not that time. Right now it is 7:45 in the morning and I am awake because I can’t sleep. All the things that have been bothering me this week have just accumulated in my head and now they have nowhere else to go. I oscillate between a state of worried to anger and then to guilt for feeling angry. I don’t know what to do. Sunday, August 6th was Rob’s birthday. It was also someone else’s birthday, whom Rob and I were supposed to have lunch with. Although I called her on her Birthday, she never called me back. And I finally swallowed my pride and wrote her an e-mail (my own phone is broken – I can listen to messages, I just can’t make any calls – I ordered one off of eBay; it should be here already, but it isn’t), but she hasn’t replied. I don’t understand. I feel like if something were really wrong, someone would call me to let me know. Then I start to wonder: what happened? What events transpired to bring about this lack of communication? What did I do? I don’t know, but I woke up this morning feeling so unhappy and missing my mom so much (I know she’d have some good advice about the whole thing, and we’d both feel better). All I want is to call her. Just her voice alone would make me feel better. I usually talk to her every week (or more) and now it has been 13 days. She does not have an e-mail address, and the only way I can call anyone is using Rob’s phone (I still can text message, which has allowed me to squeak by thus far), but carrying on long conversations with other people while he’s around (and on his phone!) isn’t exactly proper social etiquette. I’m in a general state of dissatisfaction. And I miss my mom…
