Any happy little thought.
I’m not going to lie; the last couple of weeks have been shitty. I’m tired of writing about being sad and depressed. I was so up and down all the time and I wrote a lot (so much that I actually started think I could use writing as an outlet and write a novel. November is National Novel Writing Month; 30 days, 50,000 pages. It would be interesting to try and pull that off while I’m in the thick of the busy season (read: right before finals in grad school). I doubt the novel will actually happen because when it comes to writing I’m kind of a quitter, but it was really nice to discover it as an outlet again. I’m not sure I even want to reread the stuff ever again. I’m certainly not going to post them here. End parenthetical). Yesterday was the first day in two weeks that I felt happy being alone. Usually happiness has been accompanied by people around me trying to cheer me up and distract me, so when I’ve been left alone, I really didn’t like it. There was only me and my thoughts and I still hadn’t gotten enough of them out into the computer to be left with them and only them. Drat those thoughts. So yesterday, on my way home from work I stopped at the gas station to get hot chocolate. Not for anything else, just hot chocolate. It was wonderful: hot, smooth, chocolatey, thick even. Some of the best hot chocolate I’ve ever had. So I drove home and listened to the Killers, something else I haven’t done in while. The Killers remind me of my sister and of driving to Iowa. It may sound silly, but when I first started coming to Iowa, there were times that I really loved the drive. I’ve know for a while that I thrive on anticipation and I think I needed 9 hours to prepare myself for what awaited me in Iowa, so I listened to the Killers to feel calmer and sing loudly.
Sarah: I just wanted to tell you that I love you and I miss you! I hope you are doing well and I really hope you go to Spain in the Fall. I finally hung out with Betsey. It had been a while and I always fell better after being around her. I told her that Sarah would be going to Spain in the Fall and she said: Really? Oh! I want to go visit her! Not only will Sarah have a blast in Spain, but apparently, we all want to come visit you.
Life hasn’t been perfect, but it even if it is, it rarely stays that way. This is an entry with happy thoughts and I’m going to keep it that way. :)
Currently listening to: Believe me Natalie
Remember the arch of roses
Right above your couch
Forget what they said in Soho
Leave the oh-no's out
Yes, there is an old cliche
Under your Monet, baby
You left the station now to the floor
With speculation, what was it for?
In that old hallway
Moses, why don't you say
You've been away for a long time
Believe me, Natalie
This is your last chance
To find a go-go
Forget what they said in Soho
And walk away
If my dreams for us can't get you through
Just one more day
It's alright by me
God help me somehow
There's no time for survival left
The time is now...
Sarah: I just wanted to tell you that I love you and I miss you! I hope you are doing well and I really hope you go to Spain in the Fall. I finally hung out with Betsey. It had been a while and I always fell better after being around her. I told her that Sarah would be going to Spain in the Fall and she said: Really? Oh! I want to go visit her! Not only will Sarah have a blast in Spain, but apparently, we all want to come visit you.
Life hasn’t been perfect, but it even if it is, it rarely stays that way. This is an entry with happy thoughts and I’m going to keep it that way. :)
Currently listening to: Believe me Natalie
Remember the arch of roses
Right above your couch
Forget what they said in Soho
Leave the oh-no's out
Yes, there is an old cliche
Under your Monet, baby
You left the station now to the floor
With speculation, what was it for?
In that old hallway
Moses, why don't you say
You've been away for a long time
Believe me, Natalie
This is your last chance
To find a go-go
Forget what they said in Soho
And walk away
If my dreams for us can't get you through
Just one more day
It's alright by me
God help me somehow
There's no time for survival left
The time is now...
