Why I never should have started apartment hunting
No matter how happy I wake up in the morning, it seems my mom is determined to depress me. Oh, that is not her intention, but she is doing it none the less. I’ve been apartment searching the past few days and I have decided to narrow my apartments down into two categories: 1) Generic apartments with great amenities (like dish washer, a/c, and a washer and dryer) that are close to work and 2) Unique apartments, such as part of a Victorian House, without any of the aforementioned amenities that are close to downtown Denver but about a 30 minute drive (in good traffic, more like 50 in bad traffic) from work. It would be nice if category number 2 was closer to work, but if that were the case, I still would be pretty far away from downtown and I’ve wanted to live in the city for so long.
So, what’s the problem currently? I’ve decided that I really like an apartment in Denver, in a neighborhood called Five Points. Now Five Points has a somewhat sketchy reputation, but so do a lot of areas in Denver. The block I’d be living on has a lot of neat houses (none of them have bars on the windows, I would just like to point out) and some of the blocks in either direction are a bit, um, less desirable; my mom doesn’t think it’s a very safe place. I understand where she’s coming from, I really do. And I see her point. However, I don’t think it’s as bad as she makes it out (certainly no place in Denver is perfectly safe anyway).
This morning she walked into my room and said, “Wouldn’t you rather live closer to work? What about finding an apartment in an old house, maybe not a Victorian, but one that’s closer to work.” I thought about this for a second. It seemed like an okay point. But then I realized what was wrong with it. I wouldn’t be living in downtown Denver. Maybe this seems like a bit stubborn on my part, but I’m tired of living in areas that feel like suburbs. I want to live in the city, with all it’s complications. I feel like she doesn’t trust my judgment, or that maybe she thinks I’m not in touch with reality in this situation. But I’ve thought about what I want. I’ve had to prioritize because I’m not going to get everything in one package.
I’ve been a commuter for the past 4 years of my life (having either a job or school that I have to go to 2-5 days a week that is anywhere from 25-40 minutes away), so although it’s a bit of a hassle to be living that far away from work, it also has perks (I’d be slightly closer to the Springs and Kerry and Carrie than if I lived in Aurora, I’d be closer to Centennial and Colin (Kerry’s boyfriend and a good friend) and my grandparents, I’d be closer to Golden and Ant, and I’d be closer to Boulder and Shaw and Lynon).
I don’t think my mom has ever really disagreed with most of the decisions I’ve made in my life, or at least she’s let them be my own choices. But this choice…she doesn’t like it at all. And it seems she trying to exercise every bit of her rhetorical ability to make sure that I don’t sign the lease for this apartment. But everyday that she changes her argument, I just feel my elation get chipped away. Sometimes she weakens my resolve (some of her arguments are good, and I know she means well), but then I remember why I want this place (close to downtown, nice house, beautiful yard, charming and cute (and small) on the inside). So, if I’m going to have the two qualities that matter most to me, close to downtown and a unique apartment, she suggested I look at a couple other apartments that are similar. Well, the two I looked at (I had to stick with ones within a certain financial range) were in slightly nicer areas, but they were really close to Colfax (a very busy street and not the safest) and looked a bit more careworn than my first choice (I didn’t see inside them, and maybe this is just me being stubborn again, but I loved the inside of my first choice so much that I find it hard to imagine liking somewhere else more…liking it just as well, yes, that’s possible. However, when I’m not excited about the outside, why bother?).
So am I being too stubborn? Too hasty in my decision? I don’t know. The owners want me to sign a lease this weekend (assuming my background check goes well) and move in on September 1. My mom wants me to work for a little before deciding where to live. I again see her point (after all, I’ll probably be spending some time with my co-workers, maybe I should get their input). However, I don’t want to let this apartment go and regret not taking it. But what if I hate living there and I’m stuck there for a year? These are the kinds of things that have put me into my current state of depression. I could end up hating anywhere I live. A part of me knows she’s right and a part of me just wants her to lay off already and let me make the decision for myself.
So, what’s the problem currently? I’ve decided that I really like an apartment in Denver, in a neighborhood called Five Points. Now Five Points has a somewhat sketchy reputation, but so do a lot of areas in Denver. The block I’d be living on has a lot of neat houses (none of them have bars on the windows, I would just like to point out) and some of the blocks in either direction are a bit, um, less desirable; my mom doesn’t think it’s a very safe place. I understand where she’s coming from, I really do. And I see her point. However, I don’t think it’s as bad as she makes it out (certainly no place in Denver is perfectly safe anyway). This morning she walked into my room and said, “Wouldn’t you rather live closer to work? What about finding an apartment in an old house, maybe not a Victorian, but one that’s closer to work.” I thought about this for a second. It seemed like an okay point. But then I realized what was wrong with it. I wouldn’t be living in downtown Denver. Maybe this seems like a bit stubborn on my part, but I’m tired of living in areas that feel like suburbs. I want to live in the city, with all it’s complications. I feel like she doesn’t trust my judgment, or that maybe she thinks I’m not in touch with reality in this situation. But I’ve thought about what I want. I’ve had to prioritize because I’m not going to get everything in one package.
I’ve been a commuter for the past 4 years of my life (having either a job or school that I have to go to 2-5 days a week that is anywhere from 25-40 minutes away), so although it’s a bit of a hassle to be living that far away from work, it also has perks (I’d be slightly closer to the Springs and Kerry and Carrie than if I lived in Aurora, I’d be closer to Centennial and Colin (Kerry’s boyfriend and a good friend) and my grandparents, I’d be closer to Golden and Ant, and I’d be closer to Boulder and Shaw and Lynon).
I don’t think my mom has ever really disagreed with most of the decisions I’ve made in my life, or at least she’s let them be my own choices. But this choice…she doesn’t like it at all. And it seems she trying to exercise every bit of her rhetorical ability to make sure that I don’t sign the lease for this apartment. But everyday that she changes her argument, I just feel my elation get chipped away. Sometimes she weakens my resolve (some of her arguments are good, and I know she means well), but then I remember why I want this place (close to downtown, nice house, beautiful yard, charming and cute (and small) on the inside). So, if I’m going to have the two qualities that matter most to me, close to downtown and a unique apartment, she suggested I look at a couple other apartments that are similar. Well, the two I looked at (I had to stick with ones within a certain financial range) were in slightly nicer areas, but they were really close to Colfax (a very busy street and not the safest) and looked a bit more careworn than my first choice (I didn’t see inside them, and maybe this is just me being stubborn again, but I loved the inside of my first choice so much that I find it hard to imagine liking somewhere else more…liking it just as well, yes, that’s possible. However, when I’m not excited about the outside, why bother?).
So am I being too stubborn? Too hasty in my decision? I don’t know. The owners want me to sign a lease this weekend (assuming my background check goes well) and move in on September 1. My mom wants me to work for a little before deciding where to live. I again see her point (after all, I’ll probably be spending some time with my co-workers, maybe I should get their input). However, I don’t want to let this apartment go and regret not taking it. But what if I hate living there and I’m stuck there for a year? These are the kinds of things that have put me into my current state of depression. I could end up hating anywhere I live. A part of me knows she’s right and a part of me just wants her to lay off already and let me make the decision for myself.
I completely feel you on your Mom disagreeing with your choices. But, hon, if it's what you want, then I say go ahead and do it. Maybe you *will* end up being miserable, but it's only a year, and it sounds like you'll regret it if you don't grab that apartment. I mean, you can be respectful and listen to your Mom, but ultimately it's *your* life, not hers, and it's *your* decision. *hugs*
Posted by
Alicia (Our Many Colored Moments) |
12:27 PM
Ari - thank you so much for the kind words. It's nice to have a little support. *hugs*
Posted by
Dana |
4:21 PM
If you are willing to have a really long commute, I'd be happy to have you as a roommate in Iowa. I miss you so much my friend!
Posted by
~Wamp |
7:10 PM
So now I'm really curious--what did you decide???
Posted by
rhonda lorraine |
6:20 PM
I miss you too, Wamp. I miss all my Iowa friends (and those of you who are in Michigan and Tennessee).
Posted by
Dana |
7:23 PM